Gentleness

Today I was hooked. I couldn’t shake my thoughts and emotions. About someone’s questionable behavior. It got to the point. Where all I could think is. This person disgusts me.

This person disgusts me. Is disgusting. To me.

And then. I felt bad. I felt bad about feeling disgusted. By this (to me!) disgusting person.

I’ve been taught that it isn’t nice to feel disgusted about other people.

But what if they really are disgusting I wondered.

All day long I thought about this.

It brought up aggression in me. Against them. Against me!

And so.

I had to sit. With feeling disgusted. It’s a normal human emotion I concluded after awhile.

Maybe I’m disgusted with this person because they are harmful. Maybe I’m disgusted because they are disrespectful. Maybe I’m disgusted for no good reason that anyone can understand but me. Still and anyway. There is no getting around it. They have disgusted me.

The more I accepted that. The better I felt. I am a normal human being who gets disgusted by certain people and their disgusting (to me!) behavior.

I stopped beating myself up over feeling disgusted.

And too. I came to understand that because the person disgusts me, doesn’t mean that they are disgusting.

And too also. This feeling. Can finally pass.

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