The Spider, The Sparrow and Me.

A few weeks ago I was sitting on the patio. Thinking. Enjoying the birds at the feeder. The fish in the pond.

I notice in the clear blue sky above me. A spider spinning. Bobbing down. Then up. Then down again.

How spectacular.

His web glistens. The only evidence of his otherwise impossible position.

What a gift to see such a sight.

This thought barely has time to percolate.

A sparrow tosses itself out of the bushes next to me. Up into the air.

And with just a bit of effort, eats the spider and flutters off.

In an instant! The spider is gone! Eaten by the bold little sparrow!

Hasn’t this been in the back of my mind.

And so.

Over the past year – or maybe really – since the death of my brother in 2002 – I’ve been trying to figure “stuff” out.

How to find ease and joy. Amid all the yuck that life seems to hand out.

And even more importantly to instill this ability in my boys. And of course. To all.

As I’ve written the Carrot Seed over the course of this year I have found how to live with much more ease. And so much more joy.

That I gained a much deeper realization of the process, seemed to happen in an instant. Just today.

I woke up this morning. To think. “Nothing has changed but my understanding.”

I’ve dropped the story you see.

And with that, everything has changed really.

You can look for evidence. But you won’t find any. You can’t “see” that anything has changed. Because it is all in my telling. Of my own story. To me.

A phone conversation. A dog walk.

Compassion.

Understanding. Acceptance.

So simply. Of what really is.

I won’t kid myself. Or you. Dropping the story hurts. Even if it happened in an instant. The pain lingers a bit longer. There is an adjustment to being with “what is.”

In an instant the spider was gone. To nourish the sparrow.

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