Since everyone is always crowing about what a great dad Tim is. I thought, what better way to confirm such, but from his own two boys.
Here’s the transcript of my interview with Henry and Max.
Henry: Hi Mom. Why are you down here?
Mom: I just had the best idea. I was trying to write a post for Father’s Day – and since you two lamoes haven’t done anything yet – I thought you could write a guest post for Dad.
Max: No we can’t.
Mom: Fine. Turn off that game. And I’ll interview you and write it down for the post.
(Henry and Max are sitting, legs stretched in front of them on the sofa, controllers in hand playing a very loud, somewhat explosive, video game in the Man Cave, aka basement.)
Both boys: Murmur murmur murmur.
Max: Can we do it later?
Henry: Actually. This is a really good idea. What do you want us to say?
Mom: Pause that game for a minute.
(The game is paused. While somehow the sound remains and things continue to explode.)
Mom: Just let’s brainstorm stuff about dad.
Max: He foods us.
Henry: Yeah. He makes dinner all the time.
Max: He smells nice.
Mom: I’m going to write exactly what you say you know.
Max: Uh oh. Are you going to write that Dad drives like a Nancy?
Max: How about that he loves us.
Mom: That’s a good one.
Henry: He got us Rhapsody. Rhapsody is the best.
Max. And Guitar Hero when I was 3. That’s why we’re so into music.
Henry: Yeah. He’s why we play. Even though he can’t play anything himself.
Max: Yeah. That’s pretty awesome. He makes us practice no matter what.
Henry: How about all the sports stuff he does for us?
Max: Yuh. All the catch and frisbee and soccer in the front yard.
Mom: I can throw just as well as he does.
Max: Not really mom.
Mom: Fine. Keep going.
Henry: He get’s us all the awesome houses for Spring Break.
Max: What about Fat Bastard?
Mom: Like I said. Writing it all down. Austin Powers. Monty Python. Space Balls. You would not be watching those if it weren’t for your dad.
Max: That’s good. Can we be done?
Mom: What do you think?
Max: End with how much he loves us.
Henry: Yeah. That’s perfect.
(Without a beat. The video gaming is resumed.)