“Buddhism is a path of supreme optimism, for one of its basic tenets is that no human life or experience is to be wasted or forgotten, but all should be transformed into a source of wisdom and compassionate living.”
– Taitetsu Unno, “Number One Fool”
Where to begin? Some awesome synchronicity going on here again. When you pay attention. Good things happen. Henry and I share a Kindle account. He sees my books. I see his. He recently downloaded the book, The Power of Habit. So I thought I’d check it out.
It is a godsend at just the right moment. For ages I have had a nasty habit that I hate. That I am finally ready to say goodbye to.
For a very, very, very long time. Ok. My entire adult life. I’ve thought that I drink too much. And I’m tired of thinking that. I’m tired of feeling that. I’m tired of fearing that.
But I would like to continue to enjoy our lovely wine collection. And champagne at celebrations. And beer with nachos.
Can I? Can I finally enjoy drinking without that nagging shame of You drink too much? Can I not drink too much?
I hope there a few readers out there who appreciate the irony that I am typing this during my very favorite 5pm Friday night Happy hour.
Goodbye old friend. You’ve made me feel like shit for so many years. I don’t need you anymore. And I don’t need you right now. Just because it’s Friday at 5pm.
Oh my. Indeed.
The book explains that the process of forming a habit is a three-step loop: Cue, Routine, Reward. Most simply put, to change the habit you keep the cue and the reward, but must change the routine.
With any ingrained habit, there is a great deal of soul-searching, reflecting, understanding your cues and rewards. Happily, I’ve been doing that quite rigorously since I started this blog in October. I understand my cues. I know what my rewards are. I want to permanently change my routine.
And here’s the very cool part for me. All the synchronicity that has been happening since October. Is that I finally know I am really ready. I have the method. I have the belief. But the key for me. I have the support of a community who believes in that as well.
“There’s something really powerful about groups and shared experiences. People might be skeptical about their ability to change if they’re by themselves, but a group will convince them to suspend disbelief. A community creates belief.”
You know. I like to say. Shift happens.
I come to The Carrot Seed just about every day. It has become such an integral part of my life. To share. To listen. To feel connected. To belong to a community.
It is with this support, this shared reflection that I feel like I’m finally able to let go of my beloved frenemy known by so many names. We’ll just call her “overindulgence.” Because that’s comfortable for me.
When I drink too much I feel like I am wasting this precious human life that I have been given. My greatest regrets come from that. How grateful I am to have the good fortune and support to transform this behavior. And to know that from this will come wisdom and greater compassion.
To everyone who stops by The Carrot Seed. I am grateful.
Friday Happy Hour Transformed.