The Grapes Aren’t Sour

The Fox and the Grapes

A hungry Fox saw some fine bunches of grapes hanging from a vine that was trained along a high trellis, and did his best to reach them by jumping as high as he could into the air.

But it was all in vain, for they were just out of reach: so he gave up trying, and walked away with an air of dignity and unconcern, remarking “I thought those Grapes were ripe, but I see now they are quite sour.”

-From Aesop’s Fables

How often do we fool ourselves? Into thinking we don’t want something. Into thinking we do want something. Into thinking we can’t achieve something.

When you stop. And reflect. And contemplate. And really look at your life. Maybe through meditation. Are you being honest with yourself? Are you being genuine? Are there habits that you wish you could quit, if you only knew how? Are there goals still unattained? Have you given up trying? Are you pretending you don’t want it after all?

So many things have come together for me this month. Including seeing The Iceman Cometh. Maybe that most of all. To see the portrayal of this very fable played out in Harry Hope’s Saloon.

And so.

Perhaps the grapes aren’t sour after all. I can admit that now.

And so.

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4 thoughts on “The Grapes Aren’t Sour

  1. I’m contemplating this. Sometimes we simply can’t have what we want. I have had a lot of that in the past 3 months, but the one big thing that I wanted, I got: relocation to central Oregon. A sense of freedom, adventure, new life. But .. job ? I found out yesterday (after calling for the 2nd time) that the position I had interviewed so well for, was so qualified for, was so excited for, was offered to someone else. Maybe my opinion of the job hadn’t changed, but the way they handled me was surely sour grapes. No amount of wanting the job or maintaining a positive attitude will cause a cosmic shift leading to that job offer. So sometimes it’s easier to come up with a reason why the grapes were a little sour .. even if they weren’t. I know the truth. But it’s time to move on. And by the way, I blogged about grapes the other day too. Maybe you read it.. I think I want to own a vineyard. Not the point. But beautiful post, as always.

  2. That’s the key Katy – we come up with a reason – that the grapes must now be sour. That’s where we lose our way…when we create delusions…because we don’t want or can’t wrap our minds around the real. So we change it to make ourselves feel better. Still working this out. So happy for your comment – because I’m grappling with the meaning….
    Ah yes – It is a long long dream of ours to own a vineyard too! Someday?
    As ever – Thank you!!

  3. Here I am again with more reflection on this post. I recently made a friend (almost 2 months ago) and he quickly became the best friend I’ve ever had. When we met, we met under the pretenses that we would be just friends. But every weekend we’d get together and I’d like him a little more. And then I found myself falling in love with him until – BAM – I was head over heels in love. It wasn’t based on lust and I wasn’t caught up in his charm or the sparkle in his eye .. because there was no charm. He was just himself and I was just myself. And he proved to me time and time again how wonderful of a person he is – his big heart, his caring nature. He has been my knight in shining armor.

    And tonight I was reminded that he does not want a relationship – he only wants to be friends. I wasn’t going to hide my feelings. I owe it to myself to be able to express myself. My God, I’ve taken more rejection in the face in the past three months than most people will in a lifetime. Now from the man I was in love with too..

    I am proud of myself for not calling the grapes sour. I am proud of myself for taking a stand and telling him – even though he just said he only wanted to be friends – that I have fallen in love with him. I am proud of myself for not denying my own feelings for the sake of someone else’s, but also for having the ability to put someone else’s feelings before my own. I love him. He doesn’t love me back. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love him. It just means he doesn’t love me back.

    Thankfully our friendship – much like my love for him – was not based on lust or something that is fleeting. It’s much stronger and deeper than that. So even though I can’t have it the way I want it, I don’t have to lose it completely. Nothing has to change. He’s still my best friend. Just now our feelings are out in the open. We are on the same page with the knowledge that we are on different pages, if that makes sense.

    It hurts, yes. Of course. But unlike the rejections I’ve received from potential employers, I will not pick up and move on quickly, forgetting everything I just said. Because I was honest with myself in that I loved him – and I am not going to pretend that the grapes are sour. I will let time do its healing work, but I will not talk myself out of my feelings or look for ways to validate what just happened.

    The grapes are not sour. They really are not. We can’t always have what we want .. but I am a bit more persistent and patient than that, and my feelings were not fleeting. Let time heal the wound.. to thine own self be true.. let the dehydration bring out the heartiest grapes.

    Glad you’ve been here .. your posts have guided me through many storms in the past few months.

    Thank you.

  4. Katy – Your courage, honesty and companionship are an inspiration. Basic goodness. You are a beacon. As ever, Katy. Keep rockin’. I got your back always 🙂

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