The Carrot Seed provides me a tiny little forum to nudge the boundaries of our actions and thoughts and words and intentions and expectations. Toward kindness. Toward peace.
And so. I find myself in a bit of an awkward situation because through this nudging I have caused a conflict.
And if feels uncomfortable. Terribly clumsy. To be avoided at all costs. I’ve been taught all my life that conflict is bad.
But is it?
“There is a false premise that innovation is about ideas. But ideas are actually relatively simple to come up with. True innovation is about culture and execution. The heart of innovation is conflict – you are challenging the status quo.”
The heart of innovation is conflict.
For me, that has meant being kinder to myself and thereby somehow seeming less
kind nice to others. I was such an easy target for “unkindness” because I have always felt like I should put other people’s needs before mine. Always trying to avoid conflict by absorbing the blows (including the “unintentional” ones.) Or by allowing myself to be subjugated by always attempting to be “nice.”
Here’s what I’ve learned. When you are mean to yourself, others think that they can be mean to you too.
By finally understanding that this was serving no one, I abruptly put a stop to it. And have given notice (whether directly or indirectly) to those around me to do the same. There have been a few casualties. Thus the conflict.
I am learning that to be genuinely kind, to be authentic, to act without resentment we need to have the utmost compassion for ourselves first. Without compassion for ourselves, our motives become impure. If we mistreat ourselves and allow others to do so as well, we are being kind to no one.
Kind of crazy.
Without conflict there is no innovation. There is no growth. While it seems counterintuitive, in today’s world, in order to foster kindness we will need to overcome any number of difficulties and conflicts. Isn’t that true innovation. Create conflict for peace.