I recently discovered things were not what I thought they were.
I came to a realization that I twined a story to make “things” nicer. Better than reality. Turns out really, things weren’t all that nice. They were more or less mediocre. Even bad.
Hmmm. What to do with this revelation.
The real reality is exceedingly uncomfortable. Should I nonetheless work to accept it? Or should I just cling to my old perceptions? And continue (somehow) to pretend reality is nicer than it is?
Also, I’ve come to the understanding that my false perception of reality disallowed me from proper reasoning and thusly many profound misunderstandings.
So, I’m thinking I should go ahead and deal with the new real reality. The “real” reality that, somehow I didn’t see. Even though I was living it.
Here’s another thing. I think somewhere buried in my mind, I knew all along that I was skewing reality to be better than it was. So, pretty much without my realizing it, I created a different reality that wasn’t real. And I understand now, that because it wasn’t real, I was often reasoning under false pretense. And perhaps, I need to go back and unravel all of that.
Is this for the best?
Well. I suppose it’s what you do with the new (real) reality. For me, once I got through acknowledging and accepting it I felt like I had a fresh start. So many things made sense that hadn’t before.
Also, it has allowed me to practice compassion and forgiveness…big time.
But. And I only arrived here this moment. I think it was because I was finally ready.