A lot of things did not go the way I was hoping yesterday. I think it might have had to do with the space hurricane. But who can tell really.
Mind you, I did not have my house blown away by a tornado like so many did in Mobile, Alabama. There was nothing colossal or earthshattering about the things that did not go my way. They were very mundane, sort of Monday things.The internet was down. My phone was out. Max was home sick. The printer wouldn’t work, I had to go to a meeting I didn’t want to. It was ugly, ugly weather. Blah, blah blah. That is not on par with losing your house.
The things is. You don’t need to lose your house and you can still feel shitty about the day you’re having. And weirdly, that makes it just a little bit better. Just admitting that you are not perfect, and your day is not perfect and that things bug you that you wish you would not let bug you, makes it better. (I am going to also admit that I should be able to write a better sentence than that….I feel better!)
Weren’t you taught to do the opposite though? Weren’t you told to suck it up, because people four states away are having a much worse day than you? And then you feel guilty about how you’re feeling, instead of just feeling what you’re feeling. Then your day gets all the more worse. Because not only are you having a bad day, but now, on top of it, you’re a bad person because you aren’t even good enough to realize that your day is nothing compared to everyone in Mobile.
And so. If we were to reflect on basic goodness. What does it mean in this regard? To be open. Being open to all your emotions, to all that arises. To accept being human, being sad and mad, and petty, and small sometimes. We have been so dehumanized, so afraid to look at all our shortcomings and imperfections, expecting ourselves and everyone else to be perfect. To allow our basic goodness to arise, means to be open. To not be perfect.